.

113 notifications; one feedback message.. i think i remember why i didn't renew my premium membership now.

best wishes n' all

Hard to keep writing when it's gone in a flash, the boom and the clash. A thousand different people speaking for a million different reasons; people dying like it's just in season, don't wanna speak my rhyme  because the truth is treason. Soul's wide open, mouth's wide shut. Kids thinking the final solution is cut - So call me and gall me and tell me everything else will be okay. Ticket in my hand and sun in my hair  - if the skeletons aren't out of the closet when I clear out, I'll chase them into next year.

So can you understand? Why I want a daughter while I'm still young -
I wanna hold her hand and show her some beauty, before this damage is done.

does anyone make real shit anymore?

so i can breathe you in.



i will be homeward bound in 5 days.





[home is where the heart is
but what a shame, 'cause
everybody's heart doesn't beat the same]






je t'aime emma.

Dressed to kill, you look so right
I am drunk with lust tonight
Your wounds are opening wide
And they might be just my size
Now I'm afraid of open water
But I often bathe in sin
Let's be honest, you know you shouldn't bother
'cause with me, it's impossible to win

There was always warmth between us

so say, what i know you'll say. say it through your teeth.

theres no symmetry in this place.

[our hopes & expectations;                     
black holes & revelations]

the morning of monday, 22nd february 2010




1. just finished a biology lecture - the ways in which cells function are now /slightly/ clearer to me - from the membrane, to the nucleus, and all vesicles inbetween - but these things are just, microscopic. and i've never been that interested in the microscopic.

fig. a)

send transmission from the one-armed scissor
cut away, cut away

2. as all the mysteries of living are cut away by this... higher education, a lot of the mystique about the world is, similarly, being taken away. or, in more mathematical terms;

as education approaches         ∞              
happiness conversely approaches 0                        

but we must become something more than our selves, so -
upheld at knife's reach
oh, how we covet, the status quo

3. ergo; [the reverse of ogre, interestingly] these mysteries of life aren't supposed to be understood.
because familiarity breeds contempt; so to become familiar with the workings of life is to atrophy the joy of living itself. [i'm beginning to sound religious.]


fig. c)

'beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
        ye know on earth, and all ye need to know




''


je t'aime emma

i'm coming out of my cage
and I've been doing just fine
gotta gotta be down, because i want it all

it started out with a kiss
how did it end up like this
it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

now I'm falling asleep
and she's calling a cab
while he's having a smoke
and she's taking a drag
now they're going to bed
and my stomach is sick

and it's all in my head
but she's touching his-chest
now, he takes off her dress
now, let me go
i just can't look its killing me
and taking control

jealousy, turning saints into the sea
swimming through sick lullabies
choking on your alibis

but it's just the price I pay
destiny is calling me
open up my eager eyes
'cause i'm mr brightside

I was told that I absolutely must write a journal entry on dA for the sake of Emma's ( [link] ) sanity. And given her (admittedly questionable ) mental state, I think that maybe I should take a moment and write a rant, a rant of the worst kind. A journalistic, diary entry of a journal. The worst kind, I know.

College life is one of the strangest experiences I have ever had. There are so many different people, of different cultural makeups, all attempting to absorb and fit into that which is newly around them. When the masks (or, balaclavas, perhaps) come off, this may well be a very different bunch. For now, my floor is a family, but one that is a stranger to itself.

I attended my first university lectures this morning - the first lecturer was in Biology, one Dr. Margaret Katz. I think she was attempting to mask her boredom with a kind of exuberance - her first-year lectures only a means to an end; the research of biochemistry, a subject which she so clearly loves. Most of these small observations have only occurred hours after the fact - 8am is no hour for mental exercise.


"...confidence comes in balaclavas -
victims, your sons and daughters
are our trophies, our eternal cadavers"

I will try and fit in some more writing, sometime soon, good afternoon.

Goodbye 2009.

Best wishes for all of you.

Hello 2010.
Hello university.